Impeccable news

"Your MRI looks terrific." "Impeccable." "One of the best I've ever seen". -- Dr. Alfredo Voloschin

Praise the Lord! My scan was clear!

I start chemo (Temodar) next week as a measure to prevent the growth of any abnormal cells. The doc said that 95% of patients do perfectly well on Temodar. Common side effects are nausea and fatigue. But it's really a pretty tolerable chemotherapy.

I'm so thankful for all your prayers! God is so good!

Much love and gratitude,
Kim

Truly living life

Before my diagnosis, I used to pray that God would help get me through the day. As a Type A personality, I was focused on being productive, successful, and accomplishing everything on my long list of to dos. My image needed to reflect that too. It was important to me to have the right clothes and the right answers.

I don't think any human being is created for this purpose (certainly not me), so I was constantly feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and sometimes depressed. Not to say that I didn't also have a great capacity to enjoy good times. I loved (and still do) parties, outdoor music shows, good food, good drink, vacations, fashion, celebrity gossip -- and mindless magazines about all of these things. But I don't rely on them as an antidote for my daily routine.

Now, I see things differently. Thank God. I don't take my life for granted or wish days away. I actually get what a gift life is -- even when it's not easy. In that way, my brain cancer has saved my life.

Tomorrow I get the results of my latest MRI. And start chemotherapy. No matter the results, I know I will be better off than before my diagnosis. That's the beauty of truly living life. Thanks be to God.

  

Sweet kitty at 7 months

 

 

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Radiation - DONE!

Today I had the last of my radiation treatments. 30 treatments – DONE!

While I’m so glad to be done, I will miss the extraordinary staff at Emory Winship who treated me. Dr. Crocker, Greg, Tech who always asked about Sydney, Mark, Orica (aka “Exercise Angel”) – you all have left a profound mark on my head (smile), and on my heart. I’m blessed to have been cared for by you all.

Me and the fab rad tech Greg Corn.
He used to joke that if he was a girl,
his parents would've named him Candy.

 

Today I opened the last links of my blessings chain. How wonderful it was to see this artwork from my nephew Joel with the words, “U made it!”

 

To all of you who have been praying that my treatments would be gentle and that God would carry me, your prayers were answered. Thanks be to God! When giving me my completion papers today, Dr. Crocker told me that most of his patients don’t do as well as I did. Without a doubt, I know it was the prayers.

I started back at work (part-time) last week, and wow – what a warm reception I came in to! Hugs, flowers, cards, special notes, balloons, and food!  Thank you to my dear friends at EMA for making me feel so loved and supported.

Thanks to my friends at EMA, my office looks like a fall festival!

 

I love this! Thank you, Wally.

 

On Thursday we’re heading to NYC to mark something off of Mom’s bucket list: seeing Barbra Streisand in concert. I cannot wait to see Mom’s face -- alive with child-like excitement -- to see her favorite performer. We are going to have SO MUCH FUN!

Cue the Steve Winwood song, “Back In the High Life Again”.

 

 

 

A good problem to have

The italicized portion of this post I began last Thursday. The rest is from today.

Finally I can say I have more radiation treatments behind me than ahead of me. Woo hoo!

I’m back on Keppra and feeling like my old self. Thank you, God! No more night terrors. Or wondering if I need to go to the emergency room because I feel heart-attacky.

Four weeks into radiation (only 2 more to go!) and I’m feeling very well.  A little bald in the front left quadrant of my head, but thankfully my bangs + a headband help me whip up a pretty convincing comb-over. I ordered a wig, but I only plan to wear it when this comb-over starts looking pathetic. Could be any day now. J

I’m insanely overwhelmed by those who are supporting Team Kim. My biggest stress currently is keeping up with thank you notes and correspondence. I’ve done a pitiful job, actually. You probably know this if you’ve sent a gift …

… or participated in any thoughtful gesture where a response of some kind would be appropriate. I’m so sorry. My reason isn’t an excuse but just an explanation:  I’m so inadequate at expressing the depths of my love/gratitude/well wishes on paper. That’s why I don’t like giving birthday or anniversary cards. I’m intimidated. For me, it’s like trying to describe a big juicy hug from someone you love so much. I could go on for pages and never feel satisfied that I captured it.

But, we have to do a lot of things in life that intimidate us. So I’m putting on my big girl pants and diving in head first. Thank you notes, here I come!

What a good "problem" to have. I’m so incredibly blessed by all of your love, prayers and support.

I treasure my blessings chain messages. Every one. I’d like to share part of one, from a dear friend, that I’m reminded of when I feel shaken.

“There are times when, without any anger in his heart, but with designs of love toward them, God treats his children outwardly, as if he were an enemy to them. See the gardener going up to that beautiful tree. He takes out a sharp knife, feels its edge to be sure that it is keen, and then he begins pruning it here, gashing it there, and making it bleed in another place, as if he were going to cut it all to pieces. Yet all that is not because he has any anger against the tree, but, on the contrary, because he greatly values it, and wishes it to bring forth more fruit than it has ever done. Do not think that God’s sharpest knife means death to his loved ones; it means more life, and richer fuller life.” – Charles Spurgeon

 

A special shout out to my dad. Hearing of my hair loss, he shaved his head in solidarity. Thanks Dad!

 

 

Team Kim

If you are friends or acquaintances with Jamie Stephens or Casey Palascak, you know how blessed you are. I met these amazing women at the University of Alabama in 1994. They are the real deal. Generous, loyal, and *fuh-uuun*!

They have done so much for me since I met them, but nothing compares to founding Team Kim.

Jamie, Casey (pregnant with Wesley), and I (pregnant with Sydney).
January 2012 in Carmel, CA.  

Team Kim is a group they created to show support for me and my family in our journey with brain cancer. The goal is raise $10,000 toward finding a cure. There are official webpages and everything. How awesome, right? I am so humbled by their friendship, support, and acts.

To learn more about Team Kim and ABC2's (Accelerate Brain Cancer Cure) Publix marathon/half marathon in Atlanta on March 17, 2013 (which I'm somehow going to run/walk/crawl):

visit the Team Kim Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/#!/teamkimroberts

or, go to the ABC2 events page: http://events.abc2.org/site/TR?pg=team&fr_id=1110&team_id=3670

There you can find information on how to donate, how to register for the marathon/half, and how to contact Jamie and Casey and tell them how awesome they are.






Jamie with the two preggers -- me and Casey
January 2012

Thanks so much to Casey, Jamie and all who support our family. I love you guys!



Biscuit Gallery

Ready for school!

 On the go, with her first boo boo on the noggin. :(

 

On way to Mass with bracelet from the Demings
and pew doll from the Stephens

Day 11: Side effects and Kate Gosselin hair

So today was my eleventh day of treatment, or second day of my third week. This is when the side effects will begin, the doctors say. No fatigue yet, but I'm really trying to do everything I can to not feel it if it's there. The nurse who told me to "exercise no matter what" seems to think I can minimize the fatigue if I keep moving. I don't think I've been this consistent about exercise since my college "two a days" getting ready for a spring break beach trip. (Thanks to Boni for praying that I can keep it up.)

The other main side effect is hair loss or thinning. I'm starting to see more hair coming out in the brush and more on my clothing. I'd be lying if I said it hasn't startled me. It's one thing to hear it in a list of side effects when you're in "I'm gonna beat this" mode -- and another thing to experience it. But this is just part of the journey.

I'll have to share a picture of my hair soon. The area of my head that was shaved for surgery has grown back about an inch and a half long. I am now a Kate Gosselin (hair) look alike. Not what I would choose, but I can say I have a (D-list) celebrity hairstyle.

 

 

The radiation has been fairly good to me, whereas finding an anti-seizure med that agrees with me has been our toughest challenge since my last post. I've gone from Keppra to Lamictal back to Keppra. The Lamictal was making me crazy. Not to be disrespectful to the mentally ill, but I could've had myself committed. My anxiety was off the charts in a way that made me feel like I was seconds away from something terrible happening (ie. heart attack, going off a cliff, etc.) When I closed my eyes at night, I had the worst sleep disturbances. My mind was like a movie theatre running random, sometimes disturbing images, at 10 frames a second. It was like that freaky tunnel scene in Willy Wonka.  There were too many other intolerable side effects to mention. I had to stop the Lamictal.

So today is Day 1 of returning to the Keppra. Please pray this works with minimal if any side effects. The doctor didn't seem to have answers as to why I tolerated it before (at much higher dosages) but had issues with a lower dosage recently. If this doesn't work, we go to the archives of epileptic drugs that aren't used very much anymore since Keppra and Lamictal ("more tolerable") came out.

A final note of thanks to all who have contributed your well wishes, prayers, and blessings for my love chain. I look forward to reading them each day and will forever treasure your words. My favorite message today was from one of Mom's friends: "God's Will will never take you where God's Grace will not protect you."

Much love and thanks to you all!

 

Please enjoy the Biscuit Gallery. She will be six months old a week from tomorrow!

 

 

 

 

 

Day 6: Attitude of gratitude

I have so much joy and gratitude today. I know I use the word "overwhelming" a lot, but no other word comes to mind for for how I'm experiencing God's love. It's indescribably ... fantastic!

After my treatment this morning, and with fuel from the "love link" messages, I took McGehee for a walk in the park. My radio-oncology nurse explained the importance of daily exercise to build my immunity. Rain or shine. Fatigued or nauseous. So I make it part of my weekly routine.

During today's walk, I felt such an ease with each step. Almost like I could run without exerting any extra energy. I was singing The Lumineers' "Classy Girls" and KISS' "New York Groove"outloud. A canopy of trees took on the drizzling rain. The humidity seemed to be zero. God not only carried me, he propelled me.

I can't recall a time I felt more thankful for all the blessings in my life. I feel all the prayers for me and am so lifted by them. I thank God for answering our prayers -- today and everyday.