Thanksgiving and Receiving

I finished my last dose of a year-long round of chemo on Oct 24. Hallelujah! I feel so grateful that my experience with chemo pales in comparison to many others'. Thanks to everyone who has been praying for an easy treatment!

THE last dose

I'm getting my energy back and am praying about how to re-enter the job market in the new year. I had an interview with the company I believe to be my dream employer, but I trust the Lord to lead me to what is next. Whatever it is, I don't intend to "grind away" another day at a job that doesn't fulfill me or serve others. Life is too short.

In the meantime, I've been very busy celebrating the end of treatment. In mid October, my mom treated me to a long weekend in Chicago. We had the most amazing time! My brother was there for some business, so we got to meet up for a few meals (and bottles of wine!).



Gorgeous weekend in Chicago



Gorgeous Mom and I at Public Hotel



Me with Mom and Richard, my "medical dream team",
who traveled to all of my surgeon interviews and out-of-state oncology meetings.
At Hugo's 

Go Do Good

Back in Atlanta, Tad and I celebrated with a long, lingering (childless) dinner out -- a rare treat for us. We splurged for appetizers AND dessert. It was a glowy-glittery-magical evening with my sweet love.



Reflecting on a year of blessings, craziness and healing

I thought that was it in terms of celebrating my treatment's end, but no... In early November, my amazing siblings and parents surprised me with a weekend party at Mom & Dad's. Richard and Ksenia flew in from New York. Becky, Thinh and Joel drove down secretly. Banners, balloons, flowers, CAKE! Oh my! They really know how to show a girl some love.

No Mo' Chemo! signs

To love me is to cake me

If you weren't my family, I'd desperately want you as friends.

 

The kids enjoyed feeding the horses almost as much as I did.

 

Opening the cross necklace that I will wear forever

 



Gramma & The Nguyens take Joel and Sydney to the museum
while Tad and I have date night out!

 

 

This should be enough, right? Too much, really. But you see, my sister, Becky, has an endless-giving heart. She really wanted to do one more celebration, gathering my girlfriends for dinner that have supported me throughout my journey.

As much as I was honored that she wanted to do this, and wanted to be with the amazing women, I felt like I wasn't worthy of all the on-going attention and celebrating. It didn't seem "fair" to stay focused on me for so long. My jeans were calling for a time out with the extra indulgences; but my guilt went beyond my pinching waistband.

Then I read something in my morning devotion. From Jesus Calling, Nov 12 reads,

"This is a time of abundance in your life. Your cup runneth over with blessings. After plodding uphill for many weeks, you are now traipsing through lush meadows drenched in warm sunshine. I want you to enjoy to the full this time of ease and refreshment. I delight in providing it for you.

Sometimes My children hesitate to receive My good gifts with open hands. Feelings of false guilt creep in, telling them they don't deserve to be so richly blessed. This is nonsense-thinking, because no one deserves anything from Me. My kingdom is not about earning and deserving; it's about believing and receiving.

When a child of Mine balks at accepting My gifts, I am deeply grieved. When you receive My abundant blessings with a grateful heart, I rejoice. My pleasure in  giving and your pleasure in receiving flow together in joyous harmony."

Wow. Powerful, huh? There was my answer.

So my sister beautifully organized an evening with my superstar girlie-ques. Many of these women were directly responsible for the success of Team Kim, raising over $16,000 for Accelerate Brain Cancer Cure.

Maghan & Mary Field

Courtney & Aimee

My amazing sister and I



with Hyung Mi, Alice and Jamie

 

Honored and blessed to have these amazing women as friends!

I know there will be uncertainties ahead. While my treatments are done and my latest MRI is clear (Thank the Lord!), there's a good reason the docs will have me do quarterly MRIs for the rest of my life. But I don't worry about all of that. I just thank God for today and rejoice in His healing.

I better get back to my Thanksgiving preparations. I'm very excited that Tad's parents, his aunt Kaki, Becky, Thinh and Joel are coming to spend Thanksgiving with us.

God bless you all and Happy Thanksgiving!

Much love,
Kim

Surgery Anniversary Eve

It was this day a year ago that my family gathered in a Baltimore pub for dinner.  We were happy to be in each other’s company but anxious about the next day. I had these crazy white circular stickers all over my face to help guide the surgeons the next morning. It made it very real that this wasn’t a family vacation despite the fun of a new city and being with my favorite people on earth. I wanted to linger longer after dinner, but we had an early "go" time at Johns Hopkins the following day.

Me + crazy white markers

 

I remember going to bed that night and thanking God for all that He had blessed me with. I wasn’t scared about the surgery, but I didn’t see my life past that trip to Baltimore. I didn’t want to know what was waiting for me on the other side of surgery, but I trusted that whatever it was, God would be there. He was. And continues to be.

Tad, Mom, Dad, Richard and Becky, please know that your being there meant everything (with cherries on top) to me. I have such fond memories of Baltimore, Johns Hopkins, and the whole deal. That’s because of you and the special ways you made it such a treat to be the patient. 



Morning of surgery at Hopkins, waiting to be called back.



Just out of surgery. I made it!

Day 2 after surgery. Nothing but love and medical equipment in this room

 

To my extended family and friends who sent flowers, wine and cheese trays, PJs and gift cards – wow – thank you so much!  

 

And to those who prayed for me, God bless you! I will spend the anniversary of my surgery in prayer and thanksgiving to you who sent warm thoughts, prayers and well wishes to help in my healing.

Today, I’m doing very well. Just finished my ninth round of chemo and have three more to go.  Little side effects, thankfully.

Life is good. Hallelujah! 

37/38 Birthdays in Napa, CA



Birthday trip with Ksenia, Richard, Mom and Becky


 

Greene and Gold

We celebrated my Grandpa Greene's 95th birthday in Austin this month. I wish I'd taken more pictures, but sometimes you can't help but to live in the moment and trust that your memory will "take" the pictures.

Grandpa "Smoke" Greene, 95





My grandfather "Smoke" is a retired colonel in the USAF, WWII POW, father of five, grandfather, and great grandfather. His bride, my grandmother Martha, was informed that he was missing in action while he was fighting in the war. She was a young mother when she got the telegram from the President's office saying her husband was presumed dead. She prayed and prayed and miraculously, my grandfather came home.

My grandmother's strong faith and my grandfather's strong will to survive are such powerful examples for me.

Not only that, but my grandmother (who passed several years ago) had such great style. I really wish I had pictures of her to show you. She was a knock-out. She collected and commissioned jewelry when she would travel overseas for Grandpa's military assignments.

My grandmother Martha Greene is the inspiration behind this line of modern-vintage jewelry that Kiley Durham designed for Team Kim. I'm so grateful to Kiley for this incredible showing of support, using her talents to raise money for Accelerate Brain Cancer Cure. 100% of the proceeds go to ABC2 in the name of Team Kim.

Martha earrings
by Kiley Durham for team kim



May bracelet
by Kiley Durham for team kim

 

Peregrine necklace
by Kiley Durham for team kim

For more information about the collection and to order, go to Kiley's website: http://kileydurham.bigcartel.com/

Quick update on me:

• 7 of 12 chemo treatments done. Eighth round begins in early May and if scans continue to be clear, will do last round in September.
• My next MRI is Apr 29. We do them quarterly and so far, so good, Praise the Lord!
• Changing my anti-seizure meds recently has been an answer to prayers. I'm less anxious, irritable and emotional -- which is super-nice (for Tad too!).
• I did leave my job at EMA, however, because it requires more focus, concentration, memory, and critical thinking than I can offer right now. I definitely plan to work again, but taking things one day at a time, focusing on my family and wellness. 
• Hair lost to radiation is growing back curly! Some may wonder why I wear hats or headbands when I have hair. It's covering up the crazy poodle patch of post-radiation growth. My kind of chemo, thankfully, doesn't cause hair loss.

Here's a picture of our little bunny from Easter this year. Be well and God bless!

Sydney, 12 months
 

A "Keeping Weekend"

Last weekend was one of the best of my life. I can't do justice in describing the levels of warmth, love and joy I experienced. It was a tiny taste of heaven.

Team Kim supporters came from all over to run or rally others in the Publix Georgia Half Marathon. Over $16,000 has been raised for Accelerate Brain Cancer Cure. Sixteen THOUSAND dollars, folks. That's crazy money. And I have all of you to thank.

Jamie and Casey, thank you for coming up with the idea of Team Kim, researching and selecting ABC2, organizing the fundraiser, managing the Team Kim Facebook page, getting t-shirts printed and distributed, answering countless questions, training and injuring yourselves for the half marathon, and just being there/here for me. You are walking, talking saints. I'm exhausted just thinking of words for how incredible you are. 



Jamie and Casey: Always standing beside me

My sweet extended family, thank you for championing Team Kim before it ever formally existed. For getting the word out and bringing in the majority of the donations. For always showing up and for constantly reminding me that I'm absolutely, positively, without a doubt, going to be perfectly fine. An extra-special thanks to Tad for the super-cool Team Kim logo design.

 

 

 

All the marathon team leaders and runners, thank you for stopping what you were doing to pick up the torch for Team Kim. For tin-cupping donations. For traveling to Atlanta and paying for hotels. And the months of training, injuries, blisters, and early mornings you endured to get to race day. Congratulations for what you've accomplished!

For those who showed your support by making a donation, cheering on runners, making signs, buying t-shirts (Dr. Bennett & staff!), taking pictures, or liking the Team Kim Facebook page, thank you!

To my fashion designer friend Kiley Durham-Castricone who has custom designed a line of jewelry for Team Kim, what can I say? Your offer to collaborate on this collection was a dream come true. Please check out her blog and the masterful jewelry. All proceeds go to ABC2 in the name of Team Kim. I have so much to say about the obsession-worthy Kiley and collection, that I will create another post. Soon, I promise! But for those of you who have asked how to view and order, just click on the links above. 

Screen capture of the kiley b for team kim order site

And if all that wasn't enough for one weekend, we celebrated Sydney's first birthday with a family party on Saturday. Nothing fancy, but it was perfect. It was what I call a "keeping day". One that only comes around every so often that you want forever etched into your memory.

My favorite people in the world.
(Yes, I'm wearing the peregrine necklace from the kiley b for team kim collection.)

 

Little "Squid" did so well with all the attention.

Smiles for cake! (Her mother's daughter.)

It's been an amazing year, filled with ups and downs, and every emotion imaginable. I don't know who has grown more: Sydney or me. I pray that she is gifted with a strong faith to withstand anything that comes her way. That is my greatest hope.

Thanks again to everyone who came to show your support for Team Kim and Sydney last weekend.  I pray that you are blessed with what you most hope for.

So much joy!

"Look alive, sunshine!"

I’m addressing Sydney’s first birthday party invitations tonight. Where does the time go? They say time flies when you’re having fun, but I think it flies regardless so you might as well have fun.

And tomorrow is our 10th wedding anniversary. Again, with the time…? I’m happy to say that we’ve really made the most of our lives together. We waited until 8.5 years of marriage to decide the time was right to shop for baby stuff. Before I was pregnant with Sydney, friends would (boldly) tell us that we’ll wish we had children sooner. That it’s so much fun and the best thing ever.

Sydney IS the best and we are so blessed to be her parents; but you have to be ready for the total life transformation that being a (good) parent involves. And before Sydney, I wasn’t. God knew it would be enough of a growth opportunity for us “later in life” that He granted us those years to just focus on each other.

But wow, is she a joy. Oh my gosh. We had some super-tough times with her colic at first, but once that was gone, she was really born. Now, she lives out loud.  If she had a motto, it would be “Look alive, sunshine!” I’m in complete awe of her.

Tad and I had talks about family and kids before we ever started dating. We both highly valued our families and wanted children. One night when we went for margaritas as friends, Tad drew his family’s Thanksgiving table on a cocktail napkin, identifying who each plate represented and what traditions were held. I fell in love with him that day.  

I married him, in part, because I knew I wanted him to father my children. He has exceeded my expectations. He brings such peace, love and easy fun to our little family. He thoroughly enjoys all the little things about Sydney in the same ways I do. He delights in his girls – me, Sydney, and McGehee.

We will celebrate Sydney’s first birthday with a little family get together. I’m excited not for the festivities so much as the richness of family, love, and goodness that will surround her.

And this weekend, Tad and I plan to recreate our wedding photo at St. Peter’s Church where we were married. But in place of my bouquet, I’ll hold Sydney.





"Look alive, Sunshine!", Feb 2013

 

Our little family, June 2012
 

 

 

Resolution of sorts

It’s never too late to be who you might have been.  

I bought a pencil case with this quote by George Eliot on it years ago. It sits on my desk at the office and has become “wallpaper”. Every now and then I look down at it and really see it.

I’m always inspired by the message, but never consciously take action on its meaning. But now it’s a resolution of sorts.

It’s never too late to apologize. Or forgive. It’s never too late to say thank you. To train for the half marathon. To volunteer. It’s never too late to be the person you’ve always wanted to be.

I want to be a light, growing in brightness, through which others can know the healing power of God.

This wasn’t who I always wanted to be. I wanted to be Susan Dey’s character on LA Law, or Angela Bower in Who’s the Boss. I wanted a full book of meetings and appointments. I wanted to wear business suits and carry a portfolio. I wanted to be in charge. And blonde.

How did I fail to realize it when I had all of these things? Granted, I was never a lawyer or owned my own ad agency, but I had all the things that made these women my role models. Maybe because it wasn’t who I was really meant to be.

In the New Year, here’s to the coming together of who you’ve always wanted to be and who you are meant to be. 

Finally, a very special THANK YOU to the supporters of Team Kim! I continue to be amazed at the family, friends and folks I don't know who are training, raising money, donating money, and coming from great distances to be a part of the cause. 

Sydney's first Christmas. Destin, FL.

Sydney's first trip to the beach. Photo by Thinh Nguyen.

Shout out to NY-Cee

Sydney + Joel = LOVE. Photo by Thinh Nguyen.