Surgery Anniversary Eve

It was this day a year ago that my family gathered in a Baltimore pub for dinner.  We were happy to be in each other’s company but anxious about the next day. I had these crazy white circular stickers all over my face to help guide the surgeons the next morning. It made it very real that this wasn’t a family vacation despite the fun of a new city and being with my favorite people on earth. I wanted to linger longer after dinner, but we had an early "go" time at Johns Hopkins the following day.

Me + crazy white markers

 

I remember going to bed that night and thanking God for all that He had blessed me with. I wasn’t scared about the surgery, but I didn’t see my life past that trip to Baltimore. I didn’t want to know what was waiting for me on the other side of surgery, but I trusted that whatever it was, God would be there. He was. And continues to be.

Tad, Mom, Dad, Richard and Becky, please know that your being there meant everything (with cherries on top) to me. I have such fond memories of Baltimore, Johns Hopkins, and the whole deal. That’s because of you and the special ways you made it such a treat to be the patient. 



Morning of surgery at Hopkins, waiting to be called back.



Just out of surgery. I made it!

Day 2 after surgery. Nothing but love and medical equipment in this room

 

To my extended family and friends who sent flowers, wine and cheese trays, PJs and gift cards – wow – thank you so much!  

 

And to those who prayed for me, God bless you! I will spend the anniversary of my surgery in prayer and thanksgiving to you who sent warm thoughts, prayers and well wishes to help in my healing.

Today, I’m doing very well. Just finished my ninth round of chemo and have three more to go.  Little side effects, thankfully.

Life is good. Hallelujah! 

37/38 Birthdays in Napa, CA



Birthday trip with Ksenia, Richard, Mom and Becky


 

Greene and Gold

We celebrated my Grandpa Greene's 95th birthday in Austin this month. I wish I'd taken more pictures, but sometimes you can't help but to live in the moment and trust that your memory will "take" the pictures.

Grandpa "Smoke" Greene, 95





My grandfather "Smoke" is a retired colonel in the USAF, WWII POW, father of five, grandfather, and great grandfather. His bride, my grandmother Martha, was informed that he was missing in action while he was fighting in the war. She was a young mother when she got the telegram from the President's office saying her husband was presumed dead. She prayed and prayed and miraculously, my grandfather came home.

My grandmother's strong faith and my grandfather's strong will to survive are such powerful examples for me.

Not only that, but my grandmother (who passed several years ago) had such great style. I really wish I had pictures of her to show you. She was a knock-out. She collected and commissioned jewelry when she would travel overseas for Grandpa's military assignments.

My grandmother Martha Greene is the inspiration behind this line of modern-vintage jewelry that Kiley Durham designed for Team Kim. I'm so grateful to Kiley for this incredible showing of support, using her talents to raise money for Accelerate Brain Cancer Cure. 100% of the proceeds go to ABC2 in the name of Team Kim.

Martha earrings
by Kiley Durham for team kim



May bracelet
by Kiley Durham for team kim

 

Peregrine necklace
by Kiley Durham for team kim

For more information about the collection and to order, go to Kiley's website: http://kileydurham.bigcartel.com/

Quick update on me:

• 7 of 12 chemo treatments done. Eighth round begins in early May and if scans continue to be clear, will do last round in September.
• My next MRI is Apr 29. We do them quarterly and so far, so good, Praise the Lord!
• Changing my anti-seizure meds recently has been an answer to prayers. I'm less anxious, irritable and emotional -- which is super-nice (for Tad too!).
• I did leave my job at EMA, however, because it requires more focus, concentration, memory, and critical thinking than I can offer right now. I definitely plan to work again, but taking things one day at a time, focusing on my family and wellness. 
• Hair lost to radiation is growing back curly! Some may wonder why I wear hats or headbands when I have hair. It's covering up the crazy poodle patch of post-radiation growth. My kind of chemo, thankfully, doesn't cause hair loss.

Here's a picture of our little bunny from Easter this year. Be well and God bless!

Sydney, 12 months
 

A "Keeping Weekend"

Last weekend was one of the best of my life. I can't do justice in describing the levels of warmth, love and joy I experienced. It was a tiny taste of heaven.

Team Kim supporters came from all over to run or rally others in the Publix Georgia Half Marathon. Over $16,000 has been raised for Accelerate Brain Cancer Cure. Sixteen THOUSAND dollars, folks. That's crazy money. And I have all of you to thank.

Jamie and Casey, thank you for coming up with the idea of Team Kim, researching and selecting ABC2, organizing the fundraiser, managing the Team Kim Facebook page, getting t-shirts printed and distributed, answering countless questions, training and injuring yourselves for the half marathon, and just being there/here for me. You are walking, talking saints. I'm exhausted just thinking of words for how incredible you are. 



Jamie and Casey: Always standing beside me

My sweet extended family, thank you for championing Team Kim before it ever formally existed. For getting the word out and bringing in the majority of the donations. For always showing up and for constantly reminding me that I'm absolutely, positively, without a doubt, going to be perfectly fine. An extra-special thanks to Tad for the super-cool Team Kim logo design.

 

 

 

All the marathon team leaders and runners, thank you for stopping what you were doing to pick up the torch for Team Kim. For tin-cupping donations. For traveling to Atlanta and paying for hotels. And the months of training, injuries, blisters, and early mornings you endured to get to race day. Congratulations for what you've accomplished!

For those who showed your support by making a donation, cheering on runners, making signs, buying t-shirts (Dr. Bennett & staff!), taking pictures, or liking the Team Kim Facebook page, thank you!

To my fashion designer friend Kiley Durham-Castricone who has custom designed a line of jewelry for Team Kim, what can I say? Your offer to collaborate on this collection was a dream come true. Please check out her blog and the masterful jewelry. All proceeds go to ABC2 in the name of Team Kim. I have so much to say about the obsession-worthy Kiley and collection, that I will create another post. Soon, I promise! But for those of you who have asked how to view and order, just click on the links above. 

Screen capture of the kiley b for team kim order site

And if all that wasn't enough for one weekend, we celebrated Sydney's first birthday with a family party on Saturday. Nothing fancy, but it was perfect. It was what I call a "keeping day". One that only comes around every so often that you want forever etched into your memory.

My favorite people in the world.
(Yes, I'm wearing the peregrine necklace from the kiley b for team kim collection.)

 

Little "Squid" did so well with all the attention.

Smiles for cake! (Her mother's daughter.)

It's been an amazing year, filled with ups and downs, and every emotion imaginable. I don't know who has grown more: Sydney or me. I pray that she is gifted with a strong faith to withstand anything that comes her way. That is my greatest hope.

Thanks again to everyone who came to show your support for Team Kim and Sydney last weekend.  I pray that you are blessed with what you most hope for.

So much joy!

"Look alive, sunshine!"

I’m addressing Sydney’s first birthday party invitations tonight. Where does the time go? They say time flies when you’re having fun, but I think it flies regardless so you might as well have fun.

And tomorrow is our 10th wedding anniversary. Again, with the time…? I’m happy to say that we’ve really made the most of our lives together. We waited until 8.5 years of marriage to decide the time was right to shop for baby stuff. Before I was pregnant with Sydney, friends would (boldly) tell us that we’ll wish we had children sooner. That it’s so much fun and the best thing ever.

Sydney IS the best and we are so blessed to be her parents; but you have to be ready for the total life transformation that being a (good) parent involves. And before Sydney, I wasn’t. God knew it would be enough of a growth opportunity for us “later in life” that He granted us those years to just focus on each other.

But wow, is she a joy. Oh my gosh. We had some super-tough times with her colic at first, but once that was gone, she was really born. Now, she lives out loud.  If she had a motto, it would be “Look alive, sunshine!” I’m in complete awe of her.

Tad and I had talks about family and kids before we ever started dating. We both highly valued our families and wanted children. One night when we went for margaritas as friends, Tad drew his family’s Thanksgiving table on a cocktail napkin, identifying who each plate represented and what traditions were held. I fell in love with him that day.  

I married him, in part, because I knew I wanted him to father my children. He has exceeded my expectations. He brings such peace, love and easy fun to our little family. He thoroughly enjoys all the little things about Sydney in the same ways I do. He delights in his girls – me, Sydney, and McGehee.

We will celebrate Sydney’s first birthday with a little family get together. I’m excited not for the festivities so much as the richness of family, love, and goodness that will surround her.

And this weekend, Tad and I plan to recreate our wedding photo at St. Peter’s Church where we were married. But in place of my bouquet, I’ll hold Sydney.





"Look alive, Sunshine!", Feb 2013

 

Our little family, June 2012
 

 

 

Resolution of sorts

It’s never too late to be who you might have been.  

I bought a pencil case with this quote by George Eliot on it years ago. It sits on my desk at the office and has become “wallpaper”. Every now and then I look down at it and really see it.

I’m always inspired by the message, but never consciously take action on its meaning. But now it’s a resolution of sorts.

It’s never too late to apologize. Or forgive. It’s never too late to say thank you. To train for the half marathon. To volunteer. It’s never too late to be the person you’ve always wanted to be.

I want to be a light, growing in brightness, through which others can know the healing power of God.

This wasn’t who I always wanted to be. I wanted to be Susan Dey’s character on LA Law, or Angela Bower in Who’s the Boss. I wanted a full book of meetings and appointments. I wanted to wear business suits and carry a portfolio. I wanted to be in charge. And blonde.

How did I fail to realize it when I had all of these things? Granted, I was never a lawyer or owned my own ad agency, but I had all the things that made these women my role models. Maybe because it wasn’t who I was really meant to be.

In the New Year, here’s to the coming together of who you’ve always wanted to be and who you are meant to be. 

Finally, a very special THANK YOU to the supporters of Team Kim! I continue to be amazed at the family, friends and folks I don't know who are training, raising money, donating money, and coming from great distances to be a part of the cause. 

Sydney's first Christmas. Destin, FL.

Sydney's first trip to the beach. Photo by Thinh Nguyen.

Shout out to NY-Cee

Sydney + Joel = LOVE. Photo by Thinh Nguyen.

 

It's been a year

It was a year ago today I found out I had a brain tumor. I went in for the MRI, dressed to go on to work, not thinking it was anything. Afterwards, they asked me to stop in to see my neurologist across the hall. Still didn't think anything could be wrong. Never had an MRI before, so to me, this was standard operating procedure.

The doc saw me right away. He didn't mince words. It was a mass. A lesion. A tumor. A brain tumor.

I crumbled. How was I going to tell my family? They didn't deserve this worrisome burden.

Tad wasn't with me. Again, we really thought this was going to be nothing. So I was alone, trying to make sense of this life-changing information. My neurologist handed me a box of tissues and a referral to the neurosurgeon a few blocks away. "They'll squeeze you in if you go now," the doc said.

I considered calling Tad to join me at the neurosurgeon's office, but how do you call your beloved and say, "Hey. Can you meet me across town at Dr. So and So's office? He's a neurosurgeon. Because the MRI shows I have a brain tumor."

I worried he couldn't take the news and drive there without getting panicked, lost, or worse.

So I went to the appointment alone. I sat in the neurosurgeon's office with tears streaming down my face, but trying not to look like the girl who just got bad news. There were other patients waiting that I needed to be strong for (or so I thought). I read pamphlets on brain tumors in the waiting room. It was all so surreal.

Finally, after 45 min or so of waiting, the doctor saw me. He seemed very hopeful and tried to keep me calm and positive. I was 6 months pregnant after all. He told me that Elizabeth Taylor had a brain tumor once. And hers didn't take her life.

The appointment was over. I drove myself home. And called Tad to meet me at home. I can't remember if I told him over the phone or in person. I just remember him sitting with me on our sofa. The Christmas tree was up. We sat, cried, and hugged in disbelief.

Then I had to call the rest of my family. This was going to be awful. Needless to say it was gut-wrenching. To put them through so much, on the heels of Mom's scary cancer diagnosis, during Christmas; it wasn't fair.

It's hard to believe that was a year ago.

I've been very emotional this week, leading up to the one-year mark. But today, not sure why, I have my feet under me.  I suppose it's good to reflect on hard times to see how God stays with you, no matter what. To see how far He will bring you, if you just trust. To see how He will bless you, if you just look for Him. One day at a time.

Quick update

Hi everyone! Thanks for all your continued prayers, love and good wishes. They are working.

My first round of chemo (Nov 12 - Nov 16) went fine. No nausea, fatigue or other side effects that were too bad. Praise the Lord! We are living our lives, super excited about Christmas, and really enjoying SGB and all of our blessings.

Had my blood work done last Thursday to determine if the first round of chemo impacted my white blood cell count and if we can continue with the next round. All my labs looked good, so we'll start round two this week.

Please know how much your prayers mean to me and my family. We are so grateful to you and the good Lord!

Merry Christmas and lots of love!

Sydney, 8 months, loves to Christmas shop!

 

Sydney's first Christmas tree! The next shot was of her putting the needles she pulled off in her mouth. :-(