A good problem to have

The italicized portion of this post I began last Thursday. The rest is from today.

Finally I can say I have more radiation treatments behind me than ahead of me. Woo hoo!

I’m back on Keppra and feeling like my old self. Thank you, God! No more night terrors. Or wondering if I need to go to the emergency room because I feel heart-attacky.

Four weeks into radiation (only 2 more to go!) and I’m feeling very well.  A little bald in the front left quadrant of my head, but thankfully my bangs + a headband help me whip up a pretty convincing comb-over. I ordered a wig, but I only plan to wear it when this comb-over starts looking pathetic. Could be any day now. J

I’m insanely overwhelmed by those who are supporting Team Kim. My biggest stress currently is keeping up with thank you notes and correspondence. I’ve done a pitiful job, actually. You probably know this if you’ve sent a gift …

… or participated in any thoughtful gesture where a response of some kind would be appropriate. I’m so sorry. My reason isn’t an excuse but just an explanation:  I’m so inadequate at expressing the depths of my love/gratitude/well wishes on paper. That’s why I don’t like giving birthday or anniversary cards. I’m intimidated. For me, it’s like trying to describe a big juicy hug from someone you love so much. I could go on for pages and never feel satisfied that I captured it.

But, we have to do a lot of things in life that intimidate us. So I’m putting on my big girl pants and diving in head first. Thank you notes, here I come!

What a good "problem" to have. I’m so incredibly blessed by all of your love, prayers and support.

I treasure my blessings chain messages. Every one. I’d like to share part of one, from a dear friend, that I’m reminded of when I feel shaken.

“There are times when, without any anger in his heart, but with designs of love toward them, God treats his children outwardly, as if he were an enemy to them. See the gardener going up to that beautiful tree. He takes out a sharp knife, feels its edge to be sure that it is keen, and then he begins pruning it here, gashing it there, and making it bleed in another place, as if he were going to cut it all to pieces. Yet all that is not because he has any anger against the tree, but, on the contrary, because he greatly values it, and wishes it to bring forth more fruit than it has ever done. Do not think that God’s sharpest knife means death to his loved ones; it means more life, and richer fuller life.” – Charles Spurgeon

 

A special shout out to my dad. Hearing of my hair loss, he shaved his head in solidarity. Thanks Dad!

 

 

Team Kim

If you are friends or acquaintances with Jamie Stephens or Casey Palascak, you know how blessed you are. I met these amazing women at the University of Alabama in 1994. They are the real deal. Generous, loyal, and *fuh-uuun*!

They have done so much for me since I met them, but nothing compares to founding Team Kim.

Jamie, Casey (pregnant with Wesley), and I (pregnant with Sydney).
January 2012 in Carmel, CA.  

Team Kim is a group they created to show support for me and my family in our journey with brain cancer. The goal is raise $10,000 toward finding a cure. There are official webpages and everything. How awesome, right? I am so humbled by their friendship, support, and acts.

To learn more about Team Kim and ABC2's (Accelerate Brain Cancer Cure) Publix marathon/half marathon in Atlanta on March 17, 2013 (which I'm somehow going to run/walk/crawl):

visit the Team Kim Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/#!/teamkimroberts

or, go to the ABC2 events page: http://events.abc2.org/site/TR?pg=team&fr_id=1110&team_id=3670

There you can find information on how to donate, how to register for the marathon/half, and how to contact Jamie and Casey and tell them how awesome they are.






Jamie with the two preggers -- me and Casey
January 2012

Thanks so much to Casey, Jamie and all who support our family. I love you guys!



Biscuit Gallery

Ready for school!

 On the go, with her first boo boo on the noggin. :(

 

On way to Mass with bracelet from the Demings
and pew doll from the Stephens

Day 11: Side effects and Kate Gosselin hair

So today was my eleventh day of treatment, or second day of my third week. This is when the side effects will begin, the doctors say. No fatigue yet, but I'm really trying to do everything I can to not feel it if it's there. The nurse who told me to "exercise no matter what" seems to think I can minimize the fatigue if I keep moving. I don't think I've been this consistent about exercise since my college "two a days" getting ready for a spring break beach trip. (Thanks to Boni for praying that I can keep it up.)

The other main side effect is hair loss or thinning. I'm starting to see more hair coming out in the brush and more on my clothing. I'd be lying if I said it hasn't startled me. It's one thing to hear it in a list of side effects when you're in "I'm gonna beat this" mode -- and another thing to experience it. But this is just part of the journey.

I'll have to share a picture of my hair soon. The area of my head that was shaved for surgery has grown back about an inch and a half long. I am now a Kate Gosselin (hair) look alike. Not what I would choose, but I can say I have a (D-list) celebrity hairstyle.

 

 

The radiation has been fairly good to me, whereas finding an anti-seizure med that agrees with me has been our toughest challenge since my last post. I've gone from Keppra to Lamictal back to Keppra. The Lamictal was making me crazy. Not to be disrespectful to the mentally ill, but I could've had myself committed. My anxiety was off the charts in a way that made me feel like I was seconds away from something terrible happening (ie. heart attack, going off a cliff, etc.) When I closed my eyes at night, I had the worst sleep disturbances. My mind was like a movie theatre running random, sometimes disturbing images, at 10 frames a second. It was like that freaky tunnel scene in Willy Wonka.  There were too many other intolerable side effects to mention. I had to stop the Lamictal.

So today is Day 1 of returning to the Keppra. Please pray this works with minimal if any side effects. The doctor didn't seem to have answers as to why I tolerated it before (at much higher dosages) but had issues with a lower dosage recently. If this doesn't work, we go to the archives of epileptic drugs that aren't used very much anymore since Keppra and Lamictal ("more tolerable") came out.

A final note of thanks to all who have contributed your well wishes, prayers, and blessings for my love chain. I look forward to reading them each day and will forever treasure your words. My favorite message today was from one of Mom's friends: "God's Will will never take you where God's Grace will not protect you."

Much love and thanks to you all!

 

Please enjoy the Biscuit Gallery. She will be six months old a week from tomorrow!

 

 

 

 

 

Day 6: Attitude of gratitude

I have so much joy and gratitude today. I know I use the word "overwhelming" a lot, but no other word comes to mind for for how I'm experiencing God's love. It's indescribably ... fantastic!

After my treatment this morning, and with fuel from the "love link" messages, I took McGehee for a walk in the park. My radio-oncology nurse explained the importance of daily exercise to build my immunity. Rain or shine. Fatigued or nauseous. So I make it part of my weekly routine.

During today's walk, I felt such an ease with each step. Almost like I could run without exerting any extra energy. I was singing The Lumineers' "Classy Girls" and KISS' "New York Groove"outloud. A canopy of trees took on the drizzling rain. The humidity seemed to be zero. God not only carried me, he propelled me.

I can't recall a time I felt more thankful for all the blessings in my life. I feel all the prayers for me and am so lifted by them. I thank God for answering our prayers -- today and everyday.