Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Day 3: No more sugarless gum

Three days down; 32 (or less) to go!

The face mask I wear for treatments was especially tight today. I think I must have gained a quarter of an ounce in my forehead because there was no spare room in that thing. I asked the tech what happens when a patient gains weight through the course of their treatments. He looked at me like, "Is that your plan? Because that really makes things difficult." I reassured him that I have no plans to gain weight, but it seems a stick of sugarless gum could put you over the line from fitting to not.

Enough about me. I want to thank YOU for your love and generosity. Today I opened love notes from Becky, Hyung Mi, and The Paynes. I'm flying high on your fluffy, sparkly, rainbow-colored wings.

I read this in my Hopeful Heart book this morning and was like "Yeah!"

"Each one of us is God's special work of art. Through us, He teaches and inspires, delights and encourages, informs and uplifts all those who view our lives. God the master artist, is most concerned about expressing Himself -- His thoughts and His intentions -- through what He paints in our characters."  -- Joni Eareckson Tada






Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Day 2

I've already had my second radiation treatment. My treatments are at 7:45am from here on.

Today's was easy breezy. Much better than yesterday when I just didn't know what to expect. Here's a pic from yesterday, before my first treatment. My sweet husband is taking me until we're sure I can drive safely home.

Before 1st radiation treatment with sweet husband, Tad.

Today, I opened love-link messages from Mom & Dad, Maghan and Casey. Again, tears of joy!

I have the best family and friends in the world! You all are in my prayers that God blesses you as abundantly as He is blessing us. That you get back all that you are giving, and then some. That you receive His grace and peace all the days of your lives.

I love you all! Have a great day.
Kim

P.S. Sweet chicken biscuit pic.

I could feast on these arms! So much love to the square inch.



Monday, August 27, 2012

The Next Chapter Begins

Today begins a new chapter. And I'm feeling really good about it. The air is a little cooler. My coffee tastes richer. My heart feels more hopeful. And my "Love Force" of family and friends has, once again, overwhelmed me with their support.

They've given me this chain of blessings with links to open for each of my 35 days of radiation therapy. It's like the chain you made in elementary school, counting down the days before Christmas or the beginning of summer.

Chain of Blessings

In heart formation :)


I LOVE IT SO MUCH! Today's link (Day 1) had super-special messages from my husband Tad, my brother Richard and my BFF Jamie. Guys, your messages brought tears of joy! I feel so lifted and blessed. I'll be feeling your love and God's presence when I go for my first treatment at 1:30pm today.

I'm not scared or anxious really. I feel better and more focused than I have in several days. I'm having to ramp up my anti-seizure meds (not because of anything new; I was on too low of a dosage) and the side effects came on strong. "Irritable" doesn't even begin to describe my mood last week. More like "weepy outbursts in the middle of daycare drop-off" or "intense urge to throw wine glass against patio railing when gnat flies in it".

Last week I was a mess. I tell you this so you know I'm not always up. But I have to welcome the hard days to have an appreciation for the easy and fun. And to remind me that God is in control -- no matter what.

For those who are wondering what my course of treatment will be, we prayerfully decided on the standard for my case: 6-7 weeks of radiation followed by adjuvant chemotherapy five days a month for 12 months. Hopkins was the only place that encouraged more aggressive treatment. But current research doesn't exist to compel us toward that more toxic regimen.

So here goes. Day 1 of this new chapter is off to a good start.

Much love,
Kim

Sydney, 5 months
 


Super smiley
 




Thursday, August 16, 2012

Simulation appt today

Hi guys!  Today at 11am is my simulation appointment at Emory where they fit the radiation equipment for my treatments. They said I could valet for free. Nice!

An interesting thing happened at our Emory consult on Tuesday. The radiation oncologist (Dr. Ian Crocker) recommended a more conservative plan of therapy: radiation only with adjuvent chemotherapy (instead of concurrent radiation + chemotherapy, then adjuvent chemo as recommended by Hopkins).

I'm having my doctors from Hopkins and Emory talk to hopefully come to consensus. But Dr. Crocker said that treatment typically begins 7-10 days after the simulation, which would put us starting around Thursday 8/23 - Monday 8/27.

I'm hoping they agree on the more conservative plan, but am prayerful that we are led to the right treatment -- not necessarily the easiest.

As always, thanks for the prayers and support! A special thanks to my now cancer-free friend Nina for the bracelet engraved with the words, "Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass -- it's about learning to dance in the rain." I love it!

Love,
Kim


Monday, August 13, 2012

Great news, so-so news, peace and hope


Hi folks!

Great news and so-so news from last week. First the great news. A close family member had two MRIs on Monday for chronic pain. The results came back four long days and nights later and the cause of the pain appears to be manageable with physical therapy. Thank you, God! An answered prayer, once again.

I don't ever want to compromise the privacy of my family or report the things going on in their lives in a public forum, so I'll leave it at that. But we were all brought to our knees in thanksgiving with the good (not cancer) report. It was the biggest thing on my mind this week and that's why I put it in the blog.

In other great news, my 2-month post-op scan was CLEAR! I underestimated the significance of this until the doctors at Hopkins reviewed it with me on Thursday. Before I got the results I thought, "Why would there be anything there so soon after surgery?" But I learned that with the type of tumor I had, it only takes one lingering "bully" cell to activate a new growth. Therefore, we're on board with starting the recommended treatment as soon as possible: radiation + chemo for six weeks, one month "rest period", followed by chemo only for six months.

That's the so-so news. We knew there was a strong likelihood for radiation and chemo, but I didn't expect the duration to be seven/eight months. We'll get through it though. And savor each day of the journey, followed by a BIG celebration at the end of treatment.

I'll have my treatment locally at Emory, but I'm not exactly sure when it will begin. My consult is tomorrow (8/14), but my understanding is that there is a second appointment to fit the radiation equipment to my measurements before we begin. Thankfully, the chemo drug is a pill (Temodar) and is easier to tolerate than most other chemo drugs. It's the radiation, in my case, that has the most side effects. Anyone know a good place to get a wig? :-)

In other great news, Tad turned 41 on Saturday! Thanks to Becky and Thinh for babysitting, Tad and I got to enjoy a nice lingering lunch and a movie. Happy Birthday, mi amore!

One final note. I often get comments about how brave I am or inspirational my story is. I'm so glad people find inspiration in my story, but it's not because of my own strength. I'm not brave or courageous. About once a week, in fact, I have a good boo-hoo before I recenter around God and give the reigns back to Him. He's in control and that's what gives me peace and hope.

Love to you all! And a special thanks to Paul and Pia Hayner for the beautiful rosary and card.

Here's a pic of SGB singing "Happy Birthday" to Tad.


Monday, August 6, 2012

Big week ahead!

So this is a big week. Four important events coming up!

Tomorrow (8/7), Tad and I go for my 2-month post-op MRI where they will check for recurrence. I feel good about it, although there is a hint of scan-xiety. I'm sure it will be clear, but your prayers would be mucho appreciated. We don't expect to hear the results until later in the week.

Wednesday (8/8), Mom and I fly up to Baltimore. Richard will meet us at Johns Hopkins Kimmel Cancer Center on Thursday (8/9) for our two oncology consults. The first is a radiation oncology consult with Dr. Lawrence Kleinberg, and the second is a medical oncology consult with Dr. Stuart Grossman. We expect them to read my MRI scan and suggest follow-up treatments. I'm not really thinking or worrying too much about it. I figure, why rob today of its treasures worrying about what could happen tomorrow?

Back home Thursday night so we can gear up for Tad's birthday on Saturday (8/11) and my godparents' Steph and Mike Werner's marriage vow renewal.

Happy early Birthday, mi amore and Congratulations Aunt Stevie and Uncle Mike!

I leave you all with pics from this weekend. SGB's first trip to the pool.

So much love,

Kim







Wednesday, August 1, 2012

To my EMA family

Throughout my journey, I've been overwhelmed by the love and support of so many. This post is dedicated to my friends at EMA; the agency where I've worked for almost six years.

You guys are awesome.

I came from a smaller agency in Dallas where we were like family. I happily worked there for several years until Tad and I moved to Atlanta. When I came to EMA, I had expectations that working for a larger company would be different. There was no way it could have the same family-like " I got your back"-ness as my previous agency, I thought . Well, I was wrong. EMA is just a bigger family.

You all have been so understanding, patient, supportive, kind and thoughtful. I really couldn't ask for anything more. I remember when I first shared the news of my brain tumor at a staff meeting, people lined up to hug me. How loved that made me feel!

Thank you to my entire EMA family! And a special thanks to these people who have been beyond wonderful:

Lisa H.
Mary Field
Robin F.
Nicole R.
Kathy B.
Pete S.
Tom A.
Allison C.
Maghan C.
Marci G.
Erin S.
John N.

You all inspire me. Thank you!